Colonoscopy, or: Mount Vesuvius followed by blissful sleepytime!

Alternate title: How I survive 8 hours on a toilet, then enjoy the most relaxing 30 minute nap of my life

I still haven't decided if gastrointestinal doctors are genuinely caring, or sociopaths.

If you have Crohn's or some other form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), or if you're 50 or some multiple of ten beyond that, chances are you've had one or more colonoscopies. If you're even luckier, and have active and/or moderate-to-severe IBD, there's a good chance you've averaged at least one colonoscopy per year (my current record is two in a year!).

I'm prepping for my (by my count) 8th colonoscopy tonight, and while I still have the energy, I figured I might as well write something about the process, in the hope that I can make the process slightly better for you. There's something about sitting on a shiny white porcelain object that makes one wax eloquently about... human waste?